I have noticed, and maybe I have all throughout my life, that setting goals is one of the hardest things.
Goals and I are not friends. We have actually become enemies, especially the goals of becoming healthier, in every aspect. To work to be healthy, whether is physically, mentally or emotionally, is one of the toughest things to do. It takes so much will power, determination and focus, it sometimes seems impossible.
I am not going to beat around the bush, I am such a flake. I am the giver-upper when it comes to trying to cross the finish line. I brainstorm for days or weeks, dreaming about how great its going to be once I finish what I’ve planned to start for so long, but it never really works out that way. Maybe its sometimes my negative mindset, but it seems like the more goals I set and the more times I fail at them, the harder it is to truly believe I can do something.
As I am sitting here and reflecting, it actually is kind of astonishing to me that the last time I truly said I was going to do something and did it was my half marathon. Training became my second job, I never missed a run. Regardless of how much I worked, how much homework and studying I had, I made the time. It cut into my social life, really into all aspects of my life. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but looking back on it I can’t believe I actually can say I did it. I actually followed the plan I set for myself, and did it.
Maybe that’s the problem, I get too unrealistic. I am a hopeless romantic, even when it comes to life. I think of wild and crazy ideas, thinking it is possible to do – and it is actually impossible. I have always been like that. Yeah, setting goals like “journal every night for the week” or “drink green tea to boost your metabolism every day” doesn’t truly seem like tedious tasks, but changing any part of your life sucks. Doing things you’re not used to sucks. Trying new things suck. But it helps us learn and grow to be better people, regardless if you reach the goal or not.
I am more “it’s about the journey than the destination” kind of person. As much as giving up on something you were so excited about sucks and makes you feel sad and disappointed in yourself, it teaches me things I don’t know if I would have learned if I actually reached the goal.
I am not going to lie on this blog and say “yes readers, I did journal every night. I did drink that green tea and wow do I feel better,” because I journaled for ONE NIGHT and always forgot to drink my green tea. I skip workouts that I planned and forget to drink the amount of water I wanted for the day. I am human. I am not going to be the perfect image of what a 21 year old woman should look like. I am going to have some flab on all parts of my body, chow down on that McDonald’s every once in a while and I am going to make mistakes.
That being said, this blog, even three weeks in, has shown me so much. With going through tough times mentally and emotionally, this keeps me going. It helps me to put myself first, to put my mind and body first, to make sure I am happy and always working to help myself grow. Even if I make a mistake, I am working on it. I will walk ten steps forward when life sends me one hundred backwards. I may be a giver-upper, but I am strong. I am determined. I am not letting my failures define who I am or what I am capable doing.
If you’re ever discouraged and feel like you can’t do something, listen to the song “Working On It” by Andy Grammar. Every lyric in that song will pick you back up once you realize that no matter how many steps backwards you take, or how many times life knocks you down, you’re working on it. You’re growing. You’re bettering yourself, and the time and pace doesn’t matter.
So it is all about failing, because who would I be if I was perfect?
My European Adventure 